CPW - adoption related

ILoveRedVino

If a couple adopts a child who is over 1 but under 3 years old, is it ok to change the child's first name?

brij2006

I voted yes, but I'm not sure what I would do if I were in that situation. If they were 3 and related to their name and it wasn't something too off the wall, then I would keep it. But at 1 I don't think they would notice the change as much.

BruinsBabe33

I voted no. I wouldn't change something that a child is already familiar with as well as changing everything around them.

amccul20

where is the heck I don't know button!

thats a hard question

ILoveRedVino

@amccul20 I don't know either.

This is brought to you by the episode of The Little Couple that I watched last night.

lilliesandvino

I don't think I'd change the name even if it was a newborn.

Aimothy

I don't remember much of my own life before the age of 3, so I don't think it would really ruin them in the long run if you did change it. 

But then I think of my 2 year old niece and she definitely knows her name. 

I don't know what I'd do.  I would probably correct any "misspellings" on their name and then come up with a nickname if I hated their name. 

transponster

I'd say no, but I really don't know. My friend was adopted from South Korea and her parents changed her name, and she was 3. They did let her know her birth name though.

LuckyAngel07

I don't think I could change the child's name at that age, even if they won't consciously remember later. 

My niece is 1.5. She knows and says her own name all the time. In that sense, she knows who she is. I think changing it all of a sudden could cause hurt and confusion in an already difficult situation settling into an entirely new place with brand new people. If he/she had a very difficult name, I'd probably figure out a nickname to use most of the time that he/she could also use going into school (kind of like calling someone by their mn instead of first name, even though it's still legally their name).

wiggyslilsis

I subbed at a daycare where there was a 3 yo little boy and a 5 yo little girl who had recently been adopted and the adoptive parents changed their names to more biblical names. It was very confusing to the little boy. He kept saying I'm not (new name) I'm (old name). I felt awful calling him the new name with him getting so upset. The girl was angry and a little resentful about it. I didn't work directly with her but I heard she wouldn't answer to her new name.

I think under a year I might be OK with but I really have no idea how I feel other than that little experience I have with it.

Xan921

ILoveRedVino said:

@amccul20 I don't know either.

This is brought to you by the episode of The Little Couple that I watched last night.

@ILoveRedVino, Did they change it?  I was trying to watch but fell asleep.

Xan921

If child responded to the name then no, I wouldn't change it.

If the child did not even realize what their name was, then yes, I would change it.

ILoveRedVino

Xan921 said:

ILoveRedVino said:

@amccul20 I don't know either.

This is brought to you by the episode of The Little Couple that I watched last night.

@ILoveRedVino, Did they change it?  I was trying to watch but fell asleep.

Yes.  I don't know what his Chinese name was, but he is William (nn Will) after his dad now.  He is 3.  Maybe this is different since he is learning and entirely different language... I didn't think about that.

PinkinProvence

It depends on the situation and the name. I always thought I wouldn't, but after reading Instant Mom, it really changed my perspective. It can be a welcoming into the family and very meaningful to the child.

Panderp

I think whatever the family decides best suits their situation/family is fine. If it helps the adoptive parents connect and feel like the baby is truly theirs, then great. If the family wishes to honor the biological parents by keeping the birth name, great. To each their own.

rccola1981

I think it depends on the child's response to their name. It is a discussion DH and I have had.

amccul20

ILoveRedVino said:

Xan921 said:

ILoveRedVino said:

@amccul20 I don't know either.

This is brought to you by the episode of The Little Couple that I watched last night.

@ILoveRedVino, Did they change it?  I was trying to watch but fell asleep.

Yes.  I don't know what his Chinese name was, but he is William (nn Will) after his dad now.  He is 3.  Maybe this is different since he is learning and entirely different language... I didn't think about that.

I watched, and I think in this situation it was OK.

Flamingo86

I probably wouldn't change it. The exception would be if it was a very complicated sounding foreign name, in which case I would hopefully just try to shorten it to something easier to pronounce/remember.